Gwyneth Paltrow’s silly Christmas list

 Gwyneth Paltrow posted some dubious, overpriced gifts on her Goop blog’s Christmas wish-list.

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Gwyneth Paltrow posted some dubious, overpriced gifts on her Goop blog’s Christmas wish-list.

Gwyneth Paltrow is playing Santa — a perfect looking, absurdly rich, golden blond, Hamptons-dwelling Santa.

The “Great Expectations” star has handpicked gifts that she endorses for a Christmas wish-list on her blog, Goop. The problem is, the goods are ridiculous and out of touch, much like the actress herself.

“Usually by this point in the year, I am well organized, Christmas cards are ready to go, I’ve got a good jump on the gifts,” the Goop editrix wrote. “Not this year. I am overwhelmed and a disaster. So our gift guide comes at just the right time, at least for me. We have included some old favorites and some new finds, all of which will make Father Christmas proud.”

Proud? We bet Santa would be downright embarrassed by the Hermes playing cards listed as a “great hostess gift” at $ 104. Or the Tom Dixon brass tea set, which includes a $ 210 teapot, or a $ 1,200 membership in the exclusive Orin Swift wine club.

Oh Gywnnie. Ever hear of a simple stocking stuffer?

Also on her blog is a simple $ 5,800 set of kitchen tools by Malle W Trousseau, four monogrammed napkins by Bespoke Home for $ 175, and a $ 165 Fornasetti scented candle — just for those with money to burn. Literally.

Paltrow, it turns out, is a huge fan of slapping her name on her possessions.

She recommends a comfy pair of Olivia von Halle silk pajamas, which often go for a cool $ 530 a pair. If you want them monogrammed, keep it short, because each letter will cost you $ 17 dollars each. Monogrammed bracelets from Sarah Chloe go for $ 369 and there is a listing for much-needed personalized plates by Rust Designs.

The best recommendation of all, though, is Paltrow listing her own autographed cookbooks. Those go for $ 55 dollars a pop.

The whole thing channels the queen of “Favorite Things” — Oprah Winfrey. But at least Oprah is a bit more reasonable in this year’s picks. In the December issue of O magazine, she lists a set of six porcelain mugs for $ 50, shot glasses for $ 45, a maple leaf lazy Susan for $ 195 and a $ 49 jewelry box. She also lists goodies from Target and Burt’s Bees. If you plug in the code Oprah, you get a 20% discount. Now that’s how you do it, Gwyneth.

A sultry looking Mariah Carey stepped in to sub for Lee Daniels at the 19th Annual Out100 Awards at Terminal 5.

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A sultry looking Mariah Carey stepped in to sub for Lee Daniels at the 19th Annual Out100 Awards at Terminal 5.

SUPER SUB CAREYS ON

The show must go on! When “The Butler” director Lee Daniels told organizers of the 2013 Out100 Awards that he had to pull out of Thursday night’s event at Terminal 5, they simply recruited his “Precious” collaborator Mariah Carey to serve as a presenter in his place. But there was no replacing hunky “Prison Break” actor Wentworth Miller, who missed his flight out of Los Angeles. Lucky audience members who did manage to get there were treated to a musical performance by Debbie Harry that included Blondie classics “Call Me” and “Heart of Glass” and new tunes “Mile High” and “Rose.”

Shirley MacLaine has a new pal: Mike Tyson. The pair were spotted recently sharing a meal at a Midtown hotel.

REED SAXON/AP

Shirley MacLaine has a new pal: Mike Tyson.

WHAT-ARE-THE-ODDS COUPLE

American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award winner and reincarnation theorist Shirley MacLaine followed up this week’s “Today” show visit with new bestie Mike Tyson by grabbing a bite at Noir in the Kimberly Hotel. “She was sitting quietly with a female friend and wearing sunglasses,” says a spy who saw the Oscar winner and her dinner co-star chowing down on Caesar salad and lobster gratin with a side of Chopin martinis.

LIFE IS SUITE FOR THOSE IN PALACE

Kenneth (Babyface) Edmonds, David Foster, the Tenors and Kelly Levesque made the grand opening of the Jewel Suite by Martin Katz at the New York Palace Hotel a music-filled night. “Foster took center stage, joking about his multiple marriages and how his ex-wives get half of each song,” one guest tells us. Foster introduced Edmonds saying, “To the world you are Kenny ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, but to me, you are the guy I lose to at every award show.”

Lindsay Lohan shows side boob in her latest Instagram photo.

Instagram

Lindsay Lohan shows side boob in her latest Instagram photo.

BEAUTY AND THE BREAST

Lindsay Lohan continues showing us her best self on Instagram. The latest photo posted by the actress reveals some major side boob as she sits topless smoking a cigarette. She looks sexy — but is it Oprah-approved?

Lady Gaga heads out to “Saturday Night Live” rehearsals.

Splash News

Lady Gaga heads out to “Saturday Night Live” rehearsals.

A CUTUP AND A CUT-OUT

Lady Gaga must be the only star who can supply her own costumes for hosting duty at “Saturday Night Live.” The “Applause” singer left rehearsals looking kooky in some oddball glasses and a cut-out dress, which showed off her curves. She topped that with a turban-type hat and some old-lady pumps. She’s set to perform tonight on the show.

FRANK JR. WAS IN FINE SPIRITS

Frank Sinatra Jr. saw to it that America knows Jack. The crooner entertained guests including “Hunger Games” actress Leven Rambin and musicians Benji Madden and Jesse McCartney at the official U.S. launch of Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Select whisky at L.A.’s Sunset Tower Hotel. “Jessica Lowndes was kicking up her heels as Frank Sinatra Jr. sang ‘New York, New York,’” according to one party source, Nancy Sinatra and Tina Sinatra also stopped by.


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